i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You need a sexual gate keeper
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
