id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize