I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
