you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
