his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
