i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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