How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
