yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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