i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No more Irish car bombs ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
