So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
