dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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