The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
