go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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