Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am naked and annoyed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
