Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
MIDGETS
????
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
