I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
