new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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