I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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