Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
