overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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