Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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