Screwed.edu
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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