you will always have a special place in my vag
How's work?
Spinning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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