she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
