I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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