Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
