if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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