this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
