One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
