We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
