goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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