I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
