It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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