I CAN MOONWALK!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
