Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
