i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
