Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
