My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
