i may or may not be watching the land before time
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
