some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
