i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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