He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
