I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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