so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
