He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
