I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
