Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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