At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
