Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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