So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
