She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't deserve a penis
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
