im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
